What to do when your toddler won't sleep
If your toddler is struggling to fall asleep or they're upset, pick them up and give them a cuddle. Check their nappy then try again to put them to bed.
You may need to sit in their room while they fall asleep. You can gradually move away over a period of weeks until they have the confidence to fall asleep without you. This is called the Gradual Withdrawal technique.
Step 1. Sit close to the bed holding your toddler’s hand. Give them plenty of comforting touch.
Step 2. Sit close to the bed and use your voice for comfort.
Step 3. Start to move the chair away from the bed. Keep using your voice for comfort.
Step 4. Sit quietly in the chair using your calming presence for comfort.
Step 5. Move the chair to the doorway, continuing to use your comforting presence and voice.
Step 6. Move the chair outside the door. Have a part of your body in sight and use your voice to reassure.
Step 7. Leave for short times, telling your child you are doing something and will come back. Always come back and praise your child for staying in bed. This will build trust.
If your toddler has some separation anxiety, you may need to sleep in the same room to reassure them. This is called Parental Presence.
Other strategies if your toddler won't sleep
If your toddler won't sleep and is distressed and crying, here are some responsive settling techniques to help you.
- Talk gently and calmly to reassure them. You could play some calming music or quietly say 'it's time for sleep’ to encourage a state of calm.
- Sit close to the bed and be a comforting presence.
- Touch, stroke or gently pat them.
- Allow your toddler to touch you or you could hold hands.
- Give them their dummy or a comforting toy to hold.
- Cuddle.
- Offer a drink of water.
Pause between each step and assess their response. Do they need more comfort or are they ready to find a space to find a sleeping position?
Children find repetition soothing, so try each step for a little while before moving onto the next one. How long it takes to calm your child will decrease as your child learns to self settle.